yesterday, he came back into my life after we exchanged a long silence after yelling at each other and separating ourselves from each other. He came in with a million longing. Really I never thought what he felt was still the same and maybe even more.
And then I again felt something different. Maybe I lick my own spit when I used to hate it because now, I loved him back. In fact, whether I wanted anything he still share some have. We talk about the past, everything is still clear in memory of pure thought. Joke and laugh as if time runs backwards and the days I still have it right. No awkward, even forgetting to each partner.
One time I met him, should we first were together. His room. Each other's eyes and grasping hands. Each mouthful of food she put into my mouth slowly. Staring at what a sweet smile. When he fell asleep in my lap. A warm hug with affection. And gentle kiss that still remember how I used to beat him my first kiss for her release.
Until then he asked me. "What would happen if our spouse know that we do this?." I just mumbled to myself thinking how I was feeling trapped.
But right after she arrived at the right time. Because of a problem, I ended my relationship with my boyfriend. Yes I'm really upset. I'm afraid of what I choose right or wrong. I'm just afraid to repeat what happened before. I do not know if I will hope with his words now? I tried to stay calm. And I've chosen is "live what was before me." God has written a wonderful story for me. Maybe it's the rules.
Yes, now I'm alone in the middle between him and his girlfriend. I'm fine, I do not expect too much, I'll live what is before me as possible. Maybe this way is quite painful for someone, but I'm quite happy living it. Although only in this way is enough to make me happy.
